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The (mainly) leaders debate, which I didn’t watch live, showed that the sides have (mainly) been picked; Tories and UKIP (in a coalition of shitehawks); Labour, Green & SNP (but keeping very quiet about it); Timmy LibDem was the last kid to get picked running between them shouting “pick me, pick me” (although he did finish with a good gag); and Plaid Cymru who seemed disappointingly irrelevant after her good showing in the 2015 version of Runaround (ancient 1980s quiz show reference; never quite as much fun as Cheggers Plays Pop)…but by god do they all need to learn some manners, all that shouting over each other and interrupting.

Meanwhile C4 do Shipley…Michael Crick “bumps into” Philip Davies (although sadly not with a JCB) and some bizarre women who “love” their MP and appear to infer that they would like to get up to some less than seemly shenanigans with him…while Davies gets to tell Crick “you really should do your homework”…all very upsetting. And I haven’t even mentioned Sophie Walker or Steve Clapcote…